


Book 1: T'hy'la

by Raven_Poe42



Series: T'hy'la Series [1]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Background Leonard McCoy/Pavel Chekov, Background Relationships, Based off of the episode Gamesters of Triskelion, Denial of Feelings, Gonna try and make this one a bit of a slow burn here, Like you have squint to see this pairing, M/M, Past!Nyota/Spock, Soul mate
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-12
Updated: 2014-05-13
Packaged: 2017-12-14 18:08:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/839820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raven_Poe42/pseuds/Raven_Poe42
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>T'hy'la: Friend, lover, lifelong companion, blood brother, soul mate, soul brother. There is more than one meaning of t'hy'la, but when your soul mate is your captain, what do you do?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I'm rewriting this beast in hopes that if I can get some inspiration I can finally finish this. Sorry it's been over a year of waiting...

Chapter 1

T'hy'la.  
Friend.  
Lover.  
Lifelong companion.  
Soul mate...

The first time Spock ever associated this word with James T. Kirk, he had the man pinned to the control board, his hand wrapped around the other's throat in a fit of rage. He had felt a brush of it the second he had hit Kirk. Like a feather being dragged across his skin or the brush of butterfly wings against his cheek. A soft barely there caress, with a gentle voice.

T'hy'la...

By the time Spock had realized what was said, his father's voice filled the bridge and Spock had released Kirk like he had been burned. He watched as Kirk slid off the control panel and crumpled to the floor. Spock had done that, he had hurt one of the most prized things to the Vulcan race. But later he would deny this, chalk it up to being emotionally compromised and move on.

The second time it happened, Spock couldn't deny it, meld it into something else. It was bright and burning between them as Jim was sitting, dying in that little compartment. Spock's hand on the glass, Jim's mirroring him. 

"I want you to know, why I couldn't leave you... Why I went back for you..." Jim's voice was hoarse, hollow and pained. Spock felt the bond between them jerk and vibrate.

"Because you are my friend..." Spock felt his closely controlled emotions slipping and rising to the surface. His eyes burned and his throat tightened. Jim let out a weak smile and then his hand fell, and the life that once shone within him faded. The world lurched and Spock was struggling to breathe, struggling to keep his emotions in check. But his anger turned into a breathing raging beast. It boiled in the base of his gut and it clawed its way up his throat. It turned into a scream of outrage. "KHAN!!"

Everything after was a red blur, Spock's world died red with his rage and pain. Jim was gone. It was like losing his home planet and everything he once had all over again. It wasn't something he could handle again. He had hunted Khan down like a wolf hunted caribou. He kept his prey within his sight at all times until it came for the time for him to strike.

The time was now.

They battled, exchanging blows. Spock's beast was trying to claw its way out, eager to tear the man apart, the murderer apart. Spock had finally gotten Khan down, he hadn't even realized that Uhura had joined the battle. He pinned Khan down and the head of his rage formed. He punched Khan over and over the only thoughts in his mind were of Jim.

He killed my captain!  
He killed my friend!  
And he killed my t'hy'la!

"Spock!" Uhura sounded panicked. "Spock stop! If you kill him, we can't save the captain. His blood can save Jim!" That caught both Spock's and the beast's attention. With one more punch, Khan was unconscious. When they were all beamed back up to the Enterprise Dr. McCoy was waiting for them. He grabbed Khan the second they materialized on the landing pad. Spock looked lost and helpless and McCoy could only reach out and squeeze the Vulcan's shoulder before he walked away, dragging Khan's sorry carcass with him. Uhura reached out and touched Spock's shoulder.

"Spock..." her voice was soft, curious, and gentle. He turned his dark eyes on her, the beast finally simmering down, leaving Spock feeling heavy, off-center, and lost. "He's going to be okay..." he could only nod. 

Time passed agonizingly slow for Spock. McCoy had just injected Khan's blood into Jim, and was monitoring his vitals. McCoy was also sticking Khan back into the kryo-tubes the same as his people. It was better to be safe than sorry at this point. Nyota was sitting next to Spock as they waited outside the sickbay. They were heading planet side now and McCoy was preparing Jim for transport. The doors hissed open and McCoy was pulling Jim's bed through and Spock quickly stood and held his breath. McCoy smiled thinly.

"He's stabilized, but there is only so I can do here Spock. He needs to be in a hospital..." Spock nodded.

"Do what you think is best Dr. McCoy." Spock reached out and gripped Jim's hand before he passed. "I am sorry Captain..." and Jim was gone, done the hall and into the transporter room. 

Spock didn't sleep that night, he sat at his desk filing his report. McCoy called him earlier that evening saying Jim was going to make it and that he was just resting now. Nyota walked in and sat in front of Spock.

"Can we talk?" Spock set his PADD off to the side. 

"What do you wish to talk about?" Nyota sighed and leaned back.

"The fight with Khan." Spock tensed but tried not to show it.

"What about it?" Nyota leveled him with a look.

"I have never seen you so out of control. I mean if I hadn't stopped you, you would have killed Khan!" Nyota stood and paced in front of Spock's desk. Spock coolly watched her as she ranted. "What so different this time? You weren't like that after your planet was destroyed. I mean you kicked Kirk's ass and he deserved it, but it was different this time. Why was it different?" she finally stopped and looked at Spock. In her all dark-eyed sincerity and Spock glanced away.

"I can not tell you why." he muttered. All tension drained out of her shoulders as she walked around the desk and kneeled by Spock.

"You can't tell me or you don't want to?" Spock finally looked at her and there must have been something in his gaze because she smiled sadly. "I get it... You love him." Spock just about stopped breathing.

"Nyota." he croaked out but she stood and let her arms wrap around his neck and shoulders.

"Don't. It's okay. What we started... It was just bad timing that's all. We were both emotionally compromised. Please, don't blame yourself." Spock almost sagged against her.

"He is my t'hy'la..." she pulled back in shock. 

"Then why..." she stopped. "How long have you known Spock?" she asked quietly.

"Since we fought on the bridge."

"A year?! You've known for almost over a year and you didn't say anything?!"

"I was emotionally compromised. I could not be sure if it was real or not."

"Trust me. It's real, I just can't believe you didn't say anything. Does he know?" 

"No!" Spock chocked out, "He... can not know." her brow furrowed.

"Why not?" Spock finally did sag into his chair.

"I have no idea if..." she smiled.

"Then woo him." Spock gave her a near incredulous look. "I'm serious. That's the only way you'll know for sure." Spock shook his head.

"Go to bed Nyota it has been a long day and you must be tired." she sighed and walked to the door.

"Just think on it okay?" then she was gone. Once the door shut behind her she slid down it and sat on the floor as tears welled up in her face. She may have lost Spock romantically, but she would always have him as a friend. She took a deep breath to pull herself together. Spock needed her help right now and she was more than willing to give it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock finally visits Jim in Medical Bay...

Chapter 2

The first thing James T. Kirk heard when he woke up was the beeping of the mechanics of the bio bed that were monitoring his status. The next thing he felt was how slowly his body reacted to his movements. He coughed at the slight scratchy feeling of his throat. His eyes opened and he found himself in a stark white hospital room. His body felt heavy and his brain felt like someone stuffed cotton into it. He glanced around, looking for anything that might have told him what day it was, or the time. He then noticed the soft light of early morning pouring in through the window. It was pale and cold so the sum must not have risen completely. He tried to take a deep breath of air just it caught in his throat for a moment and he coughed. He tried again and got a lungful of air and he slowly released it and tried again. Each time he took a breath it got easier for him to breathe. He laid his head back and tried to remember what had happened.

He remembered he climbed into the core of the Enterprise, and he remembered Khan. He remembered that he had kicked the core back into place and more or less fell back down into the core compartment. Someone had found him there. Scotty? No, they had dark hair and dark eyes. 

It was Spock...

Spock had found him barely breathing and barely moving. The radiation setting in and he could only pick out phrases out of the conversation they had. He remembered telling Spock that he scared, and he had asked him how he chose not to feel. He could vaguely recall Spock's response:

"I do not know, but right now, I am failing..."

"Failing", what was Spock failing at? Spock was damn near perfect. How could he fail at anything? The rest was a blur, like looking through shower fogged glass. But he remembered what he said:

"I want you to know why I went back for you... Why I couldn't let you die..." the blur cleared and Jim caught the sight of tears in Spock's eyes. So that's what Spock was failing at. He was failing at not showing emotion on his Captain's behalf. Well that wasn't right. Then he heard it. Spock's voice, clear but broken. He was actively holding back the tears.

"Because you are my... friend." Jim rubbed his face with a uncoordinated hand and laughed humorlessly. God...Way for Spock to cut in on what Jim had really meant to say, but since he survived, he guess it had been a good thing. He suddenly felt tired again, and he sagged into the warm bio-bed. His eyelids started to flutter shut but he fought the heavy feeling that sleep brought. He tried to move to say awake, but he just couldn't bring his body to do so. His eyes fell shut and a peaceful darkness swallowed him.

When he woke again a pair of dark eyes were staring at him in concern. He felt stronger than when he first had woken up. He opened his mouth and a single word came rasping out of his dry throat. It sounded like he had just walked through a desert for a days without a drop of water.

"Spock?" the eyes closed and a soft Southern drawl filled the room.

"Sorry to disappoint you Jim, but no one has seen Spock since you've been here. How you feeling?" Jim drew his eye brows together and tried to form a coherent sentence.

"Fine... I still feel weak and I'm dying for a glass of water or some ice." It had taken him a few tries to get this out. McCoy nodded understandingly and motioned for someone to get Jim some water then he turned back to the half awake captain.

"What do you remember Jim?" Jim cocked his head to the side and closed his eyes for a moment. Flashes of the reactor core snapping into place, the explosion that sent him flying, sitting in the compartment with someone on the other side of the glass, talking, hands meeting but not touching, Spock talking. They were extremely fuzzy but they could still be made out.

"Not much... It's kind of a blur. I might remember later though..." God, his voice was cracking at every word. 

"That's pretty much to be expected Jim." Chapel handed Bones a small cup with a white bending straw. "Here, drink this. It's not water though. You've been in a coma for seven days. A nurse said you only woke up once but you didn't last for very long." Jim took a healthy sip but nearly spit it out when it tasted extremely chalky and had a definite strange flavor to it.

"What the hell?!" he coughed out when he decided it would be safer to swallow the mystery liquid.

"Told you it wasn't water. Its a vitamin liquid that's supposed to help you regain the nutrients and vitamins you lost in your coma. Every thing else was taken care of by that psycho's blood. Who knew it had the ability to regenerate lost and damaged cells." Bones seemed almost nonchalant then Chapel left and it changed. Bones swiftly knocked Jim over the head.

"Ow Bones! What the fuck?!"

"Are you fucking stupid?! So help me God Jim, if you ever pull a stunt like that ever again I'll bring you back just so I can kill you myself! Do you have any idea what we all went through?! What Spock went through?! He was dead set on killing the bastard! I have seen that hobgoblin pissed but this was a whole new level. Khan was in near sever condition when he was brought to us. Spock had to wrap his hands they were so busted up." Bones pulled away to breath so he wouldn't be tempted to punch the dumbass that was laying in the bio-bed. "I mean it Jim, no more life threatening sacrifices. I don't think anyone can take that again." Jim bit his lower lip and finally asked.

"Spock... avenged me?" it was quietly spoken and it made Bones turn. He sighed at the younger male.

"Get some rest Jim, and try to drink the vitamins." And with that, Bones left and Jim was left in the room with the echo of Bones' voice and ticking of the clock.

That night Bones was sitting in his office when the door hissed open. He glanced up to see Spock blankly looking at him. He sighed and motioned to the Vulcan to sit down. Spock inclined his head slightly and took the offered seat.

"Is the Captain well?" Bones glared at the Vulcan. Spock raised a delicate eyebrow at the facial expression that he considered uncalled for. "Something appears to be on your mind, Doctor."

"Godammit, man. What're you doing here?"

Spock had the right to look pleasantly puzzled.

"I do apologize but I am not quite sure-"

"I'm not an idiot, Spock. Don't take me for one." Bones stood and stalked over to the window, clearly agitated. "Everyone knows you've got the hots for Jim."

Spock spluttered, something he never thought he'd do. Vulcans did not splutter. Spluttering was illogical. Deeply illogical. And yet, here he was. Spluttering. 

"I-I do not!" He proclaimed in indignation. In horror, he felt heat rising in his neck, his ears catching fire with the heat of embarrassment. 

"Good God, man. Denial is more than a river in Egypt." 

"I do not understand this reference but I am NOT in denial."

"Shut up and go to the hospital. The more you put it off, the more anxious you'll get."

Spock left the office quickly to avoid further exploitation. Bones sat back down at his desk and continued to organize his medical notes, muttering darkly.

"Lord knows the more anxious you are, the more pissed off we'll all be..."

 

Jim eyes slowly opened and he heard Nurse Chapel quietly talking to some one outside his hospital door. Blue eyes fluttered and he sighed as the door hissed opened and a shifty eyed Spock came slowly into the room, not quite meeting Jim's curious gaze.

"Spock..." he breathed an air of surprise and Spock stopped short at the foot of his bed.

"Captain." he slightly inclined his head but he still wasn't looking quite at Jim. It was like he was just looking beyond Jim. And to be honest it was driving Jim crazy.

"Spock, there's nothing to be ashamed for what you've done. I would have done it to if our places had been reversed." Spock's lips thinned.

"I am not so sure Captain. But I can say it was foolish and illogical what you have done. It was a needless risk."

"A needless risk?! How can you say that?! The entire ship was at stake! There was nothing else that could have been done! It was like you in the volcano, you knew the risks but you were willing to take them to save an entire civilization! Why couldn't I have done the same thing for my crew?! They are my family, as are you! I have a right to defend my family and crew!" Spock held his breath and shook off his slightly rising anger. 

"I see you are not to be reasoned with." Jim scoffed and crossed his arms as he glared at Spock. 

"This has nothing to do with reason Spock! It's all about morality and compassion!"

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!" 

Jim noticeably deflated, at a loss for words. Spock's anger did that to him. The Vulcan's teeth were bared in a snarl. How could he possibly make his stubborn captain understand?

"Look." Jim sighed, picking at a loose thread on the seam of the bed sheet, "I understand that you were worried. But this was... It was... So much bigger than me. I didn't know what else to do."

Spock's features softened as the anger simmered down as quickly as it'd come. His voice was much more quiet as he spoke.

"It appears that once again, I have been emotionally compromised."

"That seems to happen more and more..."

Jim smirked and the corner of Spock's lips lifted slightly in amusement. 

"Yes, it appears that way. I bid you a good day, Captain. I hope that you will take this opportunity to catch up on some well-needed rest."

"Thank you, Spock. Will that be all?"

"Get well, Jim." And with that, Spock left, feeling a strange fluttering within him. It was almost as if, and he pondered this as he left the medical ward, he had butterflies nesting in his stomach.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock and Jim volunteer for the newly assigned mission...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this story is going in a whole other direction that what I originally thought. However it won't effect the over-all general effect of the story or the sequel in anyway.

Chapter 3  
~5 Months later~

Jim was jerked awake by the sound of loud furious knocking at his door. With a pitiful groan he tossed off his sheets and rolled onto his feet. His back silently popped as he stood and stumbled his way to the apartment door. The knocking got louder and faster. Jim clenched his jaw against the rising headache. "Alright! ALright! I hear you! Goddamn take it easy on my door." He opened it to see Bones standing there with a manilla envelope.

"We have new orders Jim. You might want to sit down for this." Bones muttered as he stepped into the apartment. Jim sighed and shut the door.

"Am I even clear for duty?" Bone shot him a look.

"You were cleared for duty the day you walked out of my hospital. Get a beer and come sit down, the hobgoblin should be here soon with all the other department leaders as well as Uhura." Jim started at that.

"This must be super important." Bones shook his head as he stared at the envelope.

"You have no idea. This is so Top Secret, I can't even begin to tell you how important this is." Another knock at his door, this one was soft and gentle. Jim threw on a shirt and a pair of baggy sleep pants as Bones opened the door. Jim walked back out to see Spock standing by the sofa conversing with Bones and Uhura quietly. Jim's lips thinned and Spock's eyes met his.

"Captain." Spock stood straight at attention. Jim waved him off.

"Jim... Hello Spock, Uhura, how are you two?" Spock and Uhura glanced at each other and Uhura sighed.

"I'm fine, but I can't say the same for Spock. This is the first time anyone has seen him seen you entered and left the hospital." Jim blinked in surprise.

"Are you two not..." he trailed off and Uhura picked up.

"Seeing each other? No, we ended that on a mutual agreement that the timing was off on both our parts." Jim nodded silently and walked to the kitchen and came back with mugs of coffee. He set them at the table and watched mutely as Chekov and Sulu arrived, then Scotty. Bones did a quick head count then closed the blinds to darken the room.

"Head of Starfleet Command sent this to me and asked that I show this to all head of departments. And since we're all here we can start the briefing." Bones pulled out this holo-recorder and pressed a button. It flickered to life and the soft blue light filled the apartment.

"Good afternoon Starship Enterprise." a woman's voice started speaking. "In this holo-recording is your next mission. It is imperative that you keep this quiet as you go about this mission. You are traveling to a planet near Romulan Space and the very edge of Federation Space. On this planet, the planetary leaders indulge in a series of very violent and illegal games. The Federation hasn't been able to get anyone one the inside until now. You're job is to enter the games and find out who the leaders behind this are. But there's a slight catch. Only two of you may enter. People from all over the galaxy enters these games so be on your toes and trust no one. You objective is to get and out alive with the vital information that Starfleet needs to make arrests. I advise that you have your medical crew on constant stand-by in case of life and death emergencies. Do not falter Enterprise, the Federation needs your help." The holo-recording flickered out and everyone was silent for a moment. Jim's heart was like a stone in his stomach. He had a bad feeling about this mission. Suddenly, light flooded the place as Bones pulled the blinds away.

"So now all we have to do is figure out which two of us will go." Sulu muttered. Spock straightened.

"I have heard of such games before. A select few go in and only two come out as victors." Bones shook his head.

"If you ask me, it's a damn suicide mission." Bones voice was dark and Scotty nodded.

"Aye, I can't help but to agree with the good doctor here. It's a suicide mission Captain." Jim bit his lower lip.

"I vill go Keptin!" Chekov chirped then Bones turned to him and glared.

"Over my dead body Chekov! You're the youngest of us and you have no place going into these so-called Games!" Chekov opened his mouth to protest but Jim stood.

"Bones is right. Bones can't go since he has to keep Medical Bay on standby. Scotty can't go but we might need his in the Engineering room. Chekov and Sulu can't go for obvious reasons. So that leaves me, Uhura, and Spock. Uhura I don't want you to go also for obvious reasons."

"What because I'm a woman?!" she stood. Jim gave her a gentle smile and Spock turned to her.

"I am afraid that I must agree with the Captain on this Nyota. We are going to need someone in the Captain's chair to monitor us."

"Us?! What us?!" Bones snapped. Jim stood beside Spock and sighed.

"It was pretty much decided since the holo-recording started. Spock and I will enter the Games."

"It is the only logical choice." Spock added. Bones paled ad Uhura let out a shocked noise.

"Jim you can't!"

"Spock are you crazy?!" Jim raised a hand.

"If anyone here has a chance of getting in and out of this alive and with the information that Starfleet needs its us. Spock and I are the only ones who can do this." Bones bit his lower lip and sighed.

"Fine Jim, fine. But if you die again, I'll bring you back just so I can kill you myself!"

"I have all the faith in the world that you guys can do this." Uhura smiled and hugged them both. Spock looked only mildly uncomfortable but he had hugged Uhura back anyway.

"Dear God, you guys act like we're going into the Games any second now." Jim grinned but it didn't reach his eyes. In fact if Spock had known better, he would have said that Jim looked almost hollow.

'T'hy'la... What is the matter?'

That evening, Jim started packing instead of sleeping. Bones was sitting on his bed monitoring Jim. Double checking his vitals.

"Something wrong Jim?" Bones asked as he sipped his glass of bourbon.

"Everything is fine Bones. I was just hoping for a longer time off that's all." Jim tossed a couple of shirts into a duffel bag, followed by a few pants.

"Starfleet promised the Enterprise a year off after this mission." Bones sighed and set his now empty glass on the tiny nightstand.

"It's that bad?" Jim zipped the now full duffel bag and tossed it into the living room.

"If what Spock said is anything to go by? Then yes, it's going to be that bad." Jim nodded.

"I wouldn't want it any other way." Bones stiffened at that.

"Damn it Jim! Don't you care about your life anymore?! Why the sudden death wish?! Why the sudden 'my life isn't valuable compared to everyone else'?!" Jim sighed and collapsed on to the bed.

"After you die once, you don't really come back whole. There's nothing to feel anymore. There's no fear, nothing. And you know me Bones, I always have a death wish. As far as the value of my life goes, I am replaceable. Starfleet can just find another Captain to the Enterprise. But no one else can be replaced. Spock can't, Uhura can't, Sulu, Chekov, Scotty, you. No one in this galaxy can replace you Bones. But anyone can replace me. Understand?"

"Excuse me for saying but fuck no I don't! You think you're replaceable?! Well let me tell you something! There is no one in this galaxy that can handle the hobgoblin's logic, Scotty's love of transporters and the Enterprise, Chekov's accent and how he says everything was invented in Russia. No one will be able to keep me on my toes like you do. Damn it Jim. There's no one else like you. I'm sure if you asked anyone of those who were here today if you are replaceable I think every single one would smack you. Even that damn Vulcan would tell it would be illogical or some shit! You're our friend and our Captain and nothing in the Universe can replace that!" Jim just stared at Bones for a moment then he smiled.

It wasn't the smile that usually wore when he was trying to hide. But it was an honest to God genuine smile. "Thanks Bones. I needed that."

Bones snorts. "Yeah well I'd kick you in the ass if I thought you needed that. Just promise me you and hobgob get out of this alive. I don't think I can handle another funeral."

Jim smirked. "Yes mother." Bones leveled him with a dark glare.

"I'm being serious as Hell Jim. Promise me." Jim sobered up and nodded.

"Yeah Bones, I promise." A long silence stretched between them. "So... Chekov?" Bones curled his lip.

"Too young. But that was my point. He can't go into the Games Jim."

"No, I know. I completely agree." Another pause. "Scotty?" Bones looked over at him.

"Boy what are you fishing for?!" Jim shrugged and grinned.

"Nothing. Just trying to figure out who it is on the Enterprise that you like." Bones glared at him.

"Now look here you little shit." Jim laughed and Bones shook his head and chuckled. Hopefully everything will go as it was supposed to.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Spock prepare for the Games...

Chapter 4

The morning the Enterprise is to leave port Jim found himself standing at Christopher Pike's grave. His blonde hair was spiked and dark with sweat. His eyes were slightly glazed over with unshed tears. A hand touched his shoulder at he jumped away out of shock.

"My apologies Captain." Spock put his hands behind his back and Jim shook his head.

"No, it's my fault. I should have been more aware of my surroundings." he took a deep intake of breath and slowly let it out. "You know, this is the first time I've visited him since it happened."

"Cap- Jim, I regret to say, we are almost ready to leave planet side." Jim nodded.

"I know, I was just..." Jim blinked his eyes in rapid succession.

"Saying your peace. This is a human calculation I have been found wanting."

"Your mother?" Jim looked at Spock out of the corner of his eyes and he saw Spock smile ever so slightly. It was sad and filled with so much heartbreak, more than such a small smile should contain.

"Yes." Spock communicator twittered and it shattered to moment between them. "Spock here." a pause. "Yes, I am with the Captain and we shall return to the ship immediately." Jim was laughing quietly.

"Bones?"

"Dr. McCoy was indeed adamant that we return and that I find you." Jim laughed out loud and shook his head.

"Come on Mr. Spock, let's get to the ship before Bones comes for me himself." Spock inclined his head and they walked back.

Bones was standing on the landing when they walked up. "Jim where the hell have you been?!" Jim shrugged.

"Visiting Pike." that shut Bones up but it didn't stop him from encasing Jim into a tight brotherly hug. Something flared in Spock's gut but he bit it back. It was illogical for such a reaction.

"Well you're here now, so we're getting the fuck out of dodge." Jim smiled and Spock followed him into the Enterprise.

"Chekov, do you have coordinates locked on?"

"Aye, Keptin!"

"Sulu, let's start her up and get going into Warp 3."

"Yes sir." Jim leaned back into the chair and sighed as he covered his eyes.

"Spock, to your calculations when do you think we'll reach out destination?" Jim sounded tired already. Uhura shot a worried glance from Jim to Spock. Spock inclined his head at her and answered the Captain.

"If we keep at this current speed, in 8.5 days." Jim shook his head.

"We need to be there in no less that 5 days. Sulu proceed to Warp 6."

"Aye Captain."

"Sir, that would put in the planet's range in 3.7 days."

"Good, the sooner we get there the better. I'd like to get an early start on these 'Games'." Jim leaned further into his chair and McCoy stepped onto the bridge with a tricorder. The doctor has taken a newly formed habit of checking Jim's vitals for any drastic changes, just in case. Uhura bit her lip and spoke up.

"I think this mission is a bad idea." Everyone stopped and stared at her. Jim stood and turned to her. That gentle smile on his face that spoke of great sadness and loneliness.

"That makes two of us Lieutenant. But we can't defy direct orders. This mission has to be seen through to the end. Spock, I need to ask you a personal favor at the end of our shift. If you agree, be prepared to spend these next few days in my company." Spock nodded stiffly. He felt an almost foreboding in his gut but that was highly illogical. But he too felt that this mission was indeed very strange and peculiar.

Through his entire shift Jim had his nose stuck to his PADD. He had been trying to find any information that he could on the so called Games. But nothing in the Federation system banks could provide for him any viable information. He was just about to toss the poor piece of technology when a firm hand landed on his shoulder. He looked to see Spock glancing down at him, a very unreadable but a definite look on his face. Was he worried? Jim couldn't tell.

"Captain, our shift is over. You needed to speak in private about something?"

"Yeah, either your quarters or mine, it doesn't matter. Just some place where no one can listen in." Spock glanced around for a second and lowered his voice.

"It is about the mission." It wasn't a question. As usual, Spock was the first to catch onto what was going on. Jim nodded but didn't say anything as he stepped into the turbo lift with Spock.

"Yeah, sort of." Spock nodded stiffly and Jim leaned against the turbo lift wall and was watching the different decks pass by. Spock quietly watched Jim out of the corner of his eyes, taking in his slouched form, the steely coldness of his bright blue eyes, and the stern set of his jaw and mouth. He looked as if the whole weight of the world was on his shoulders. The turbo lift eased to a soft stop and the doors hissed opened. Jim was the first to step out and Spock swiftly fell into step by his side as they walked down the hall and to the doors of Jim's quarters. He punched in his code and the doors hissed open and when they closed, Jim mutely locked them so no one would walk into this conversation.

"Spock." he turned and sat on his desk, his blue eyes darkened in the dim light. "I have a request to ask of you." Spock stood straighter.

"Yes Captain?" Jim waved it off but didn't correct him.

"I want you to teach me how to fight better and self-defense." Spock would have been openly reeling from shock had he not been a Vulcan. "These Games are going to be so much different than anything you or I have faced so I think it would be best to brush up on both fighting and self-defense."

"Jim if I may... I would like to teach you the Suus- Mahna." Jim blinked at the Vulcan.

"The what?" Spock actually had to fight back a chuckle.

"It is the Vulcan style of fighting and self-defense. I believe it would benefit you greatly." Jim bit his lower and shrugged.

"What the hell... Yeah Spock, why not."

"Unfortunately, what has taken me years to master, you must learn in three days." Jim was sure all the blood in his face was drained.

"Well... Fuck..."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The training begins... A touch is shared against their wills...

Chapter 5

"Captain, good morning." Spock sat at Jim's table in the mess hall. Jim felt a smile spread across his face and his chest tightened at the sight of the Vulcan.

"Good morning Spock." he stiffly nodded as he sipped his tea.

"Captain..." Jim paused from taking a bite out of his breakfast and he glanced up at his First Commander.

"Yes Commander?" Spock straightened at the mention of his title and set his tea down.

"When do you wish to begin the training?"

"As soon as possible Spock, we reach our destination in less than two days. I'd like to begin as soon as you are able. Scotty and Uhura are going to take command over the ship so we can squeeze in as much training as possible." Spock nodded.

"Acknowledged sir." Jim finished his meal in quiet companionable silence with Spock sipping his tea, to be honest, it nice to just sit in each other's company. That is until he finds himself thrown to the floor later in the training room, sweat pouring off his face, his lungs burning in his chest.

"Fuck!" he pants as he tries to stand on his shaking legs. Spock slides in a defensive posture. Jim leans forward and puts his hands on his knees. Spock was wary as he stepped up to his Captain.

"Cap-" he stops at Jim's glare and quickly corrects himself. "Jim, do you require a break?" Jim almost considered nodding but instead he shook his head.

"No, I've got to get this right. Just..." he took a steadying breath. "Let me catch my breath right now." Spock nodded and sat on the training mat as Jim all but collapsed back onto the floor. He was breathing rather heavily and Spock considered calling Dr. McCoy into the room to get Jim checked out. Jim must have figured out what he was thinking because he spoke up from the floor.

"If you even think about calling Bones in here, I'll figure out some way to get you back later and it won't be pretty." Spock actually had to fight back a smirk and raised an eyebrow instead.

"And if I have already considered it?" Jim leaned up on his elbows and glared at the calm, cool Vulcan.

"Don't test me right now Spock." then he collapsed back onto the floor. "I might be ready for another round here soon." Spock nodded and stood again and offered his hand to help his captain stand. Jim looked at his hand then stood on his own. Spock almost frowned thoughtfully at Jim but Jim spoke. "It's okay Spock, I got it." He brushed himself off and the second round began. And it was like that for the rest of the day. Jim pushing himself till he could barely breathe and Spock would offer his hand but was denied every time. Finally Spock just stopped trying to help the man up and just let him be if he had fallen to the floor, via a Vulcan throw or where his legs had just finally given up on holding his weight.

"Jim, perhaps we should stop, it is dinner and we did not have a very healthy lunch." All they had was protein and energy bars which Spock found were seriously lacking in flavor and mostly tasted of he could only describe as cardboard, even though he himself had never tasted cardboard.

"Yeah..." Jim panted from the floor; Spock thought that by now Jim and floor were now intimate friends, mostly by the ever so courteous Spock. "Give me a second. I wan to take a shower. I smell like a gym that hasn't been washed or cleaned in several weeks." Spock had not noticed the change in Jim's smell but if it made the man feel better... Jim rolled and moved to stand but his legs wobbled and Spock barely had enough time to catch him before he hit the floor again. Jim leaned on the Vulcan until he regained balance in his legs. He tried to shift his weight but his legs simply refused to hold his weight anymore.

"Do you require assistance Jim?" It was strange how in a short amount of time, he had gotten used to using the other man's given name. But Spock knew as soon as they left this room, Jim would have to be called "Captain". He could balance the difference, or so he hoped.

"No... And don't even think about calling Bones. I'll be fine, I just need to breathe." Spock nodded stiffly and gripped Jim's shoulders.

"Breathe with me, Jim." Jim glared half-heartedly at his First Commander but was slowly breathing at Spock's commands. "In... out..." Spock took deep breaths with Jim and watched as the human visibly relaxed and his breathing was back to a normal state. "Do you feel better Jim?" Jim pulled away and heaved a deep sigh, as he finally fully relaxed.

"Yeah Spock, I'm fine. What say we catch the last of the lunch hour, I'm sure Bones is flipping out by now." Spock nodded and led the way out of the training room and to the mess hall where Dr. McCoy was speaking with Ensign Chekov. A soft smile gracing the older man's lips and the young Russian talking and gesturing wildly as his English tripped and stumbled over his thick Russian accent. It was difficult to actually understand what he was saying, but the Doctor seemed to have trouble picking words out. Spock looked over at Jim who was grinning like the proverbial cat that ate the proverbial canary. McCoy must have caught sight of them because the doctor suddenly frowned and excused himself as he stalked in the opposite direction. Chekov glanced over and waved quite enthusiastically.

"Keptin! Mr. Spock!" he was grinning as he approached. "How ees the training coming?" Jim smiled back. It was hard not to. The kid could be so god damn cute when he wanted.

"It's fine Chekov, we just thought we'd call it quits to get something to eat." Jim grinned that sly grin. "Since when did you and Bones become so buddy-buddy?" Chekov tilted his head, confused.

"What do you mean?" Jim's smiled faltered and he sighed. Damn idiots... Do they not even realize that they were just flirting?

"Nothing Ensign, never mind. Carry on." The young Russian nodded and scampered off to the bridge.

"I wonder if Bones realized it." Jim muttered. Spock glanced at his captain.

"Realized what?" Jim rolled his eyes. Seriously? Could the Vulcan be that thick?

"Just... never mind Spock. Let's just get something to eat so we can go back to the training. We only have a couple of days until we get to the planet." Spock followed closely behind as they entered the mess hall, it was next to empty except for a select few people who liked to loiter behind. Jim sighed as he collapsed into a nearby chair, Spock glanced at him.

"Shall... I get lunch?" Jim leaned forward and put his head on the table.

"That would be great Spock, do you mind?"

"Not at all Jim, I will return shortly." And Spock was gone, leaving Jim with his face in the tabletop. His body ached something fierce, and he shuddered when a wisp of cold air brushed over him. He bit back a grimace of pain as he tried to breath through the pain. If he didn't know better, he would have thought that his Commanding Officer was trying to kill him.

Jim grunted as he yet again thrown into the floor, his body screaming at him to stop, that it was time to just sleep. Spock towered over him and Jim gritted his teeth together and used his last remaining strength to use his leg and catch Spock in the back of his knees. Spock sucked in a sharp breath of air as he collapsed on top of Jim. Jim brought his arms up and Spock's chest collided into them with a jarring spike of pain. Spock stared down at his captain and raised a silent eyebrow at him.

"That was… Clever to do Jim." Jim glared at his commander, his blue eyes dark with the rush adrenalin in his bloodstream.

"It was kind of a last result here Spock." Spock nodded and made a motion to stand and Jim followed. Spock slid his hand up as Jim slid his hand down and in a moment of their fingers lightly interlocked and Spock froze and his dark eyes widened ever so slightly. Jim tilted his up and Spock found him so close and something jerked in his gut cause he flew off Jim and took a few calculated strides back as far he could go. Jim was watching him closely and tilted his head.

"Spock, is everything okay?" Spock clasped his hands behind his back tightly. Trying to ignore the ghost touch of Jim's fingers against his. He swallowed against a sudden tightness in his throat.

"I am fine Captain. We should call it a day and retire to bed and start again tomorrow." Jim nodded, he looked like he wanted to say something but seemed to decide against it.

"Of course Commander. I'll see you tomorrow then." Spock left as fast as he could and tried to make it look like he wasn't running from his Captain but he knew he was. He hadn't expected the feel of Jim's skin against his fingertips and now he was actively trying to push it away but at the same time, he clung to it.

Illogical… But yet for a moment, he didn't seemed to care.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know... It took too damn long to post this chapter but it took too damn long to get inspiration. But I finally got it back... I re-watched Hunger Games and saw Catching Fire so I got my muse back. But remember guys, this is loosely inspired by the Hunger Games as well as the TOS episode Gamesters of Triskelion.   
> Enjoy.

"All Senior Officers report to the bridge. I repeat all Senior Officers report to the bridge." Uhura's voice over the ship's intercoms roused Kirk from his sleep. Groaning, he rolled out of bed, his arms and legs flared and burned in protest at the movement. He stood on wobbling knees, but was able to keep his footing as he walked to his closet and pulled on his Starfleet mandate uniform. His door hissed opened and Spock was waiting there, his hands behind his back.

"Captian, I trust you slept well." His formal tone made Jim's eye twith with mild irriataion. It was too early to deal with his First Officer, and he had a feeling he wouldn't even get the chance for a hot cup of coffee.

"I slept fine Commander, no worries there." Spock nodded rather stiffly.

"Excelent, Lieutenant Uhara tells me we are several hours away from the planet Triskelion. Starfleet has asked us to take the unmarked shuttle to the planet and to eliminate all evidence that leads us back to Starfleet Command."

Jim nodded as he walked to the turbolift. He had that plan in mind already. He felt a slight cold chill run up his spine and grip his heart and Jim gasped in his throat and finally forced it down. He knew Spock had seen him tense up, but the Vulcan was kind enough not to call him on it.

The doors hissed opened and Chekov's voice filled the space. "Captian on the bridge." Everyone stood and Jim nodded once at them and muttered out:

"At ease." they sat back down and Jim stopped next to Uhura. "Any frequences?"

"Yeah, just a repated announcement of the Games, and that they are tributes and volunteers for the Games. We made it just in time for registaration."

"Glad to hear!" Jim stepped next to Sulu. "How far are we out?"

"5 hours, sir. I suggest you tke the shuttle now to make on time."

"By the time you get there, the registration would have started." Uhura added in and she threw a glance at Spock.

McCoy stepped onto the bridge and he looked at Jim and motioned him over.

Jim cautiously walked over.

"Hey Bones."

"Jim, promise me you won't do anything stupid. Come back alive, or else I'll bring you back just so I can kill you again myself."

Jim smiled delicately.

"I can't make any promises Bones, you know that." McCoy glowered at him and tightened his fists so he couldn't grab Jim by the collar of his Starfleet uniform and shake him until his teeth rattled in his skull.

"Goddamit Jim!" he hissed. "You know damn well you have to come back alive! Or else this mission is a complete failure!"

Jim couldn't look his friend in the eyes. "Trust me Bones, I know."

Bones let out a harsh sigh through his nose. "Just don't get yourself killed."

Jim smiled, but it was so faint, it was almost a ghost. "Thanks Bones."

"Captian. I believe we should depart now." Spock's voice sounded from over Jim's shoulder.

"I agree Commander, let's file out." Jim clapped Bones on the shoulder and left for the turbolift. "Sulu, Uhura, take the comms. Be on standby and try to tap into the Game's live feed. I'll feel better knowing someone is cheering for us." the doors hissed opened and then hissed closed.

McCoy's eyes slid closed and hands were on his shoulder. He opened them to find both Scotty and Chekov there.

"The keptin will be fine."

"The kid's right Doctor, Jimbo knows what he's doing."

McCoy didn't speak, he just nodded. All he wanted was for Jim and Spock to get out this alive and minimal damage. But he knew that was impossible. The games changed anyone participating forever. If they got out of this alive, they would be changed men. No one was going to deny that much.

* * *

"We need to change, we have to ditch the uniforms."

"We will on the shuttle, we have everything already on board thanks to the corteousy of the good Doctor." Jim chuckled.

"You and Bones don't like eachother much do you?"

"It's complicated to like Dotor McCoy when he is ruled by his emotions, and I think he finds difficult to like me when I am more logical." Jim snorted.

"Everyone finds it difficult to like you when you're logical, Spock." the Vulcan tilted his head and looked slightly quizzical.

"Is that so?"

"Have you not noticed? People actively try to avoid you when they know you're on a logical kick." Spock looked intrigued and Jim rolled his eyes as he stepped onto the shuttle. Jim turned to Spock and leveled him with a hard stare.

"'Captian' and 'Commander' ends here. From here on out til the end of the mission, we are just Jim and Spock. Understood?"

Spock gave his trademark stiff nod. "Of course..." there was a slight pause and Jim had almost missed it. "Jim."

Jim smiled with satisfaction and moved to the chairs. Spock borded and the shuttle door closed behind him. Small duffle bags lined the wall behind the control chairs and there were several small first aid kits and kits with vaccines for Jim allergies.

"Wow, Bones sure did make sure we were prepared for every possible outcome." Jim's gaze roamed over the several small packs that were piled by the duffle bags.

"Doctor McCoy wanted to as through as possible it seems."

"Well he out did himself that's for sure. Hopefully, we can hide a first aid kit and a vaccine kit on our clothes during the Games."

"Indeed." Spock took a seat and began flipping switches. The engine of the shuttle hummed to life and lights flickered on through out the shuttle. "Power is good and stable. We have enough to get us there and back." Jim clapped Spock on the shoulder.

"Alright then, fly us on out of here Spock." Jim turned and began to strip when he found a loose fitting black long sleeved shirt and a pair of loose fitting dark green cargo pants.

* * *

"How far out are we Spock?" Jim asked after what felt like an eternity of silence.

"3.25 hours." He sighed. Damn, this was going to be a very long flight.

* * *

Jim took over the controls when Spock rose to change. Jim kept an eye on the read outs and discovered that they were now only about two hours out. Something curled and clentched in Jim's gut and he let out a startled breath. Spock rose his head from pulling on a pair of pants and moved to Jim's side.

"Are you alright?" his voice was soft and it unwound whatever had knotted in Kirk's stomach.

"Yeah, just my nerves hitting me I guess." he could feel his hand shaking against the shuttle's controls.

Spock's eyes glanced down at the shaking appendage and laid a soft and gentle hand on Jim's tense shoulder. "We'll get out alive." and it sounded like a promise and benediction all in one. It was either the sound of his voice or the touch on his shoulder that made Jim relax, he wasn't sure which, but he was grateful for it.

* * *

By the time they landed on the planet of Triskelion, people were gathering on the landing docks. An amored guard approached the men in what looked like some kind of Cyber looking armor with glowing lights of red, yellow, and green.

"State your names." the voice was humanoid and robotic all at the same time. Jim stepped forward, followed by Spock.

"My name is Jim Pike. This is my friend and ally, Spock of Vulcan." the humaoid robot typed it onto the holographic tablet it was carrying.

"Are you here to registar for the Games?"

"Yes, we are." Spock was watching Jim closely.

"Follow me." the android (if you could call it that) turned and led them through the throng of strangely dressed people. There were some who looked as if they came from primeval planets, others from insanely rich planets, and there was a large group of people that bore cybernetic* clothing as well as high tech victorian clothes* as well.

Jim made sure to keep close to Spock as well as their guide, but it was hard when there was an insanely large crowd of people surrounding them. Their voices combined into one huge murmur of different languages and sounds. It was making Jim's throat tight and his head spin. Hands landed on his shoulders and he violently jerked but the impossible strong grip kept him in place.

"Breathe Jim, we're almost out." Spock's voice was close to his ears. How had he known that Jim was on the verge of a full blown panic attack?

Suddenly light filled his vision and there was wild cheering as they stepped out of the landing docks and into the neon world of Triskelion's major city. Banners were flashing across high defininiton screens on the side of buildings. People's photos were dancing across smaller screens. The android led them to a building were a huge neon banner read: "Welcome Gamesters to the 47th Annual Triskelion Games!" in bright pink and green colors. Jim ran his hand over his face.

What had he volunteered for?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The two astriks are my own way of describing Cyberpunk and Steampunk clothing.  
>  I hope that this chapter is up to standards and if anyone has questions they can PM me.  
>  I decided to make Triskelion a high tech planet because in the TOS, it was rather primal and primeval and wanted to build something straight from my imagination. I'm sorry the description of the city is so vauge but they won't be spending much time there so I won't waste your time with unwanted or unneed details.   
> Thanks again for reading and sorry it took so long to get this posted.   
> I know there are a lot of mis-spelled words, but my spellcheck is refusing to work and ff.net is getting smarter because I can no longer copy and paste my corrected story here, so just deal with the errors until I get the chance to get them corrected. Again, I apologize.


	7. Chapter 7

This isn't a new chapter, I'm just informing all my readers that this story is on hiatus until the summer. I apologize for the inconvenience.


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